Saying YES, A Foster Care Journey, and How Lawyers Can Change a Child’s Life

By Rodrigo D. Dias, as featured in https://marinbar.org/news/article/?type=news&id=844

In September 2016, my husband Jason and I received a phone call that would change the course of our lives forever. Six months earlier, we had taken a leap of faith ourselves — buying our first home together in San Rafael after nearly two decades of living in San Francisco. We were just settling into our life in the suburbs, enjoying the extra space, the quiet streets, and the slower rhythm of life. One of the reasons we moved was simple: we wanted to start a family.

That afternoon, the phone rang with a question we knew could be coming. A social worker told us there was a one-and-a-half-year-old girl named Annabelle in foster care. She might need a permanent home. They asked if Jason and I would be willing to foster her — and possibly adopt her.

We didn’t need much time to decide. That day, we said Yes.

From that moment, Annabelle became the center of our world. And on her third birthday, standing in a courtroom with balloons and cupcakes waiting outside, we said Yes again — this time when a judge asked whether we would adopt her. Annabelle’s adoption was a moment of joy not just for us, but for everyone who had been part of her journey.

A Second Yes

Fast forward to February 2022. The three of us — Jason, Annabelle, and I — were driving home from a weekend trip celebrating my 48th birthday. My phone rang again, and I recognized the number immediately. This time, it was about a 7-month-old boy named Layton. He had been placed in foster care the day he was born and might need a permanent home.

Jason and I looked at each other. We already knew the answer: Yes.

In December 2022, Layton officially became our son. This time, the most important Yes in the courtroom came from Annabelle herself when the judge asked if she was ready to have a baby brother. She grinned, nodded, and spoke the word that had already changed our lives twice.

The Power of Saying Yes

Our family’s story is just one among thousands of stories of families who open their hearts and homes when a child needs safety, stability, and love. Some say Yes for a night. Others say Yes for a year. And some — like us — say Yes for a lifetime.

But behind each “Yes” is an entire network of support: social workers, court-appointed special advocates, therapists, educators, extended family members, and yes — lawyers — all working together to help children in crisis find stability and hope.

In California, there are nearly 40,000 children in the foster care system at any given time. They enter the system for many reasons — abuse, neglect, parental incarceration, mental illness, or the death of a caregiver. Often, these children have already endured more in their short lives than most adults will ever face.

When they enter foster care, they need more than just shelter — they need stability, consistency, advocacy, and a community willing to rally around them. That’s where organizations like the Marin Foster Care Association (MFCA) step in.

The Marin Foster Care Association’s Mission

I am proud to serve as Treasurer and a member of the Board of Directors for MFCA, an organization dedicated to supporting foster families and the children they care for. Our mission is simple but powerful: to equip caregivers and deliver resources that foster youth need to heal and thrive.

MFCA’s work is comprehensive, practical, and deeply personal. Through our Community Resource Center, we provide children and their caregivers with everything they need to settle into a new home — from clothing and shoes to school supplies and comfort items like stuffed animals and blankets.

Our Opportunity Project grants help fund educational and recreational activities — music lessons, sports leagues, art classes, summer camps — giving foster youth the same opportunities for enrichment and exploration as their peers.

And because the journey doesn’t end when a child turns 18, MFCA also focuses heavily on transition-age youth — young people aging out of foster care who often face housing insecurity, unemployment, and limited access to higher education.

Meeting the Housing Crisis for Transition-Age Youth

In Marin County alone, there are between 25 and 35 transition-age foster youth in the dependency system at any given time. Even though these youth are legally adults, they lack to resources the rest of us take for granted when embarking on adulthood. While housing vouchers can help them afford rent, landlords are often reluctant to rent to someone with no rental history, no family co-signer, and minimal financial resources.

The MFCA has seen firsthand how precarious this stage of life can be — and how quickly a young person can fall into homelessness. That’s why the MFCA Board made it a strategic priority to find creative solutions to the housing shortage for this group.

Our answer was bold: purchase housing ourselves. MFCA now owns two apartment buildings dedicated to providing safe, stable housing for transition-age foster youth. These homes offer more than a roof — they provide security, a sense of belonging, and a chance to launch into adulthood on solid ground.

Building Community for Caregivers

Foster care can be both deeply rewarding and incredibly challenging. Caregivers often navigate complicated relationships with birth families, deal with trauma-related behaviors, and work within a complex legal and bureaucratic system — all while meeting the day-to-day needs of a child.

MFCA helps foster families stay strong by hosting trainings, community events, and therapeutic support. We know that when caregivers feel connected and supported, they are more likely to continue in their role — and that continuity is critical for the children in their care.

Where Lawyers Come In

As a family law attorney, I’ve spent nearly two decades navigating the court system, advocating for clients, and working to resolve high-stakes family disputes. But it is my personal experience as a foster and adoptive parent that gives me a unique perspective on how lawyers can make a difference for children in foster care.

Lawyers are often at the very heart of the process. Dependency cases move through juvenile court, where timelines are tight and stakes are high. Every decision — from whether a child is placed with relatives to whether reunification is attempted — has life-altering consequences.

Here’s how MCBA attorneys can help:

1. Represent Foster Parents and Relatives Foster parents and relatives often have critical information about a child’s needs and progress, but they may not know how to make their voices heard in court. Lawyers can help them navigate the process, file for de facto parent status, and ensure their insights are considered in decision-making.

2. Advocate for Services Many foster youth require specialized services — therapy, educational support, medical care — that can be delayed or denied without strong advocacy. Lawyers can push agencies to meet their legal obligations promptly.

3. Support Transition-Age Youth Attorneys can assist with housing disputes, employment rights, and education-related legal issues for youth aging out of the system. These interventions can mean the difference between stability and homelessness.

4. Work Pro Bono Not every case comes with a paying client. Pro bono representation for foster youth, relative caregivers, or foster parents can have an immeasurable impact.

5. Legislative Advocacy Lawyers are uniquely positioned to influence policy — drafting legislation, testifying before committees, and helping shape laws that better protect children in foster care.

A Call to My Colleagues

I know firsthand that the legal profession can be all-consuming. It’s easy to believe there’s no time to take on “one more thing.” But I also know that when we, as attorneys, use our skills for the benefit of children in foster care, the return is beyond measure.

Saying Yes doesn’t always mean becoming a foster parent. It can mean representing one. It can mean mentoring a youth who’s aging out of care. It can mean volunteering with organizations like MFCA, donating to programs that provide stability, or simply showing up at a training to learn how the system works.

The Ripple Effect of Yes

When Jason and I said Yes in 2016, we had no idea where that road would lead. We didn’t know we’d one day say Yes again to a baby boy. We didn’t know we’d be part of an organization tackling systemic challenges like housing for transition-age youth.

But what we did know — and what I want every lawyer to know — is that every “Yes” matters.

What we also knew was that after adopting our son that we wanted to remain connected to the community that supported our family when we said Yes – we wanted to pay it forward.

You don’t have to solve the entire system to change a child’s life. Sometimes, you just have to answer the call.

Because when you do, you’re not just saying Yes to a case, or a cause, or a client. You’re saying Yes to the possibility of a future that looks brighter than the past.

If you want to learn more about how you can help, visit the Marin Foster Care Association at mfca.org. Whether you have time, resources, or legal skills to offer, there’s a place for you in this work. And you never know — your “Yes” might just change everything.